Global Warming? Na … I prefer the easier and more likely answer that God is pissed that I built a backyard ice rink this winter. So as atonement for my sin against nature, I offer the top 10 Things One Can Do With a Backyard Ice Rink in a Unusually Warm Winter …
10. Start a Neighborhood Polar Swim Club
9. Contact the local religous sect that you have a birthing pool; can handle large numbers of pregant women
8. Add ice and show off your new redneck beer cooler to all your redneck friends
7. Improve your marksmanship skills: target shoot the multitude of birds taking baths in it
6. Have Fish & Game plant Rainbow Trout in your rink/pond and practice your fly casting
5. Take a swim … NAKED!
4. Can you say, “Slip & Slide”
3. Take pictures and send to Al Gore with attached apology letter for your naive lack of faith
2. Complain relentlessly until your wife is sorry she ever suggested you build it
And the top thing to do with a bank yard ice rink in an unusually warm winter ….
1. [reply with your suggestions: I’ll post some of the funnier ones!]
Drown thy neighbor who complains about the river flowing thorugh his backyard due to your liner punctures….
I have to decide which neighbor has pissed me off the most … then behold the flood of Noah through his yard!